Welcome November

The season change is getting a bit obvious, it is starting to get really chilly outside,  We actually spent a few days last week raking, I have just enough trees to give me a yard full of leaves and pine needles.  Yesterday morning it was snowing.  It did not stick around but Yes it was snowing. 
So I have decided I am going to use this as an excuse to slow down and take care of me for a while.  I will keep up with my schoolwork and create beadwork when I can sit and enjoy doing it.  I will spend a lot of my free time with my grand baby because now I can have her come stay at my house more often than I have to go to hers.  Now I just need to find a playpen so I have a safe place to put her when she is sleeping.  She is right at that point where she is going to start really rolling on her own with no warning ;o)

I ended up with 8 custom orders for Amulet bags which means forget getting new items in my shop before Christmas.  First order was for a large bag, large enough to hold credit cards.  that is finished and mailed.  I have 2 that are required to have metal feathers, they are almost done but running into a problem,  the feathers I have bought in the past, well I just can't find them, I have found larger ones but not the size I use.  But I will find something.  One the next order I have one bag finished, one almost finished and 3 more to start!
I will not stress, I will not stress, I will not stress.  This is the winter I stay tucked in the house and work at my own pace, even in my jammies if I don't feel like getting dressed and enjoy being home doing what I wish without stressing about what I cannot do anymore. 

Tomorrow is Veterans Day, coming from a family who has many members past and present, close and distant, of the armed services, it is natural for me to remember what this holiday is about.  Remember to say thank you if you happen to come across someone tomorrow who is in service.  If you or someone in your life is in any of our armed services, I thank you and honor you for what you do for us.

Finding Balance

How do we find balance when we are trying to juggle to many things?  I have been pondering this all weekend.  How do I find balance? My schoolwork, my beadwork, my housework, my grandchildren...It just seems that I am alway's trying to do a bit more than I can and something along the line suffers.  I have to admit these day's it is usually my beadwork.  It seems like my school work is taking many more hours a day than I ever imagined an online class could.  It seems like I just finish babysitting my newest grandbaby and then I am doing it again.  I am not complaining, I love the time I spend with her, my other two grandkids no longer need me that way but I cannot do much else when I have her, she does not sleep, she is very alert almost all day and needs to be interacted with.  So now I sit and wonder how to keep up with new shop listings on Etsy when I don't seem to find the time to make anything.  I listed the amulet above today, it has been sitting in my "done" box for weeks and I haven't done another since.  Right now I have three custom orders for amulet bags, each one is started, but I am not making progress.  I did my schoolwork this morning.  Then I babysat until 9:00 tonight.  Instead of sitting down to pick up my beading needle I sat down at the computer and went into my classroom to do......more schoolwork!... So now it is 11:00 at night and my eyes are telling me I can do nothing more than climb into bed.  Seems like a very typical day so how do I find that balance that gives me the time to do my schoolwork, be with my family and find the time for my creative needs? This is going to require a bit more thought, maybe I'll sleep on it.

A reason to laugh

It seems like I have not had much in my life as of late to make me laugh.  But this week we stood on my porch and watched an event that had me laughing so hard I had tears running down my face.  The farm next door has a number of pastures and they move different sets of cows around occasionally. Apparently this week it was moving day for the cows that have been across the street to the pasture next to my house.  Well, it did not go really smoothly.  The cows decided they weren't in the mood and decided to go in all directions causing bedlam to break loose.  The cows were running back and forth across the road, Have you ever seen a huge cow run?  There were three farmhands with big sticks running around to try to herd the cows in the direction they wanted.  That did not work out so well.  The farmhands ran right and the cows ran left.  Then the farmhands ran in a circle to the left and the cows ran backwards to the right.  There were cars stopped on both sides of the road because some of the larger, older cows decided to stroll up and down the road.  Three of the youngsters managed to get up into my driveway.  I literally stood on my porch staring down at three young bulls, they were just babies when I moved in here.  Here comes a farmhand on a tractor chasing them and they ran in three different directions.  They sure gave him a run for his money.  All the cows got eventually rounded up into the pasture next to me so we had a happy ending but it sure was fun watching this comedy while it unraveled.  Hope those farmhands got a pay raise!

Thoughts

Life just does not seem to settle down.  Every time I think things will slow down so I can catch my breath and figure out how to catch up, another something or other comes up.  I am just not getting any time to myself other than when I just do not feel well enough to do what is normal.  So I sat once more thinking what I can do for my shop to try to get through the holiday season.  Just cannot accomplish what I wanted and am now resigning myself to the fact that things aren't going to change much.  So I decided if nothing else I would concentrate on my mini amulet bags that I created for my "Love for Tori" line.  And then I would put them all up for a very special price of $10.00 through the holiday season which will fly by us just as it alway's does.

For anyone who may have not been reading my blog for a long time this particular line of mini bags are named for my grand daughter, Tori.  Tori is 17 and she totally owns my heart.  She also struggles with more illness than any 17 year old should have to.  She has a number of problems starting with a type of mono that never goes away.  It lives dormant in her blood stream and flares up when it feels like it. At least once a year and she is bedridden for ages, it has darn near killed her 3 times. 
Then a few years ago we went through the thyroid cancer scare, which is when I created these mini bags, not big enough for much but the perfect size to write a wish on a bit of paper, roll it up and tuck in your bag so it is alway's close by.  A bit over a year ago we finally got a positive result that Tori has both Rhuemetoid Arthritis and Psoriatic Arthritis, a gift from her father.  So at 17 she lives with the pain of a 70 year old.  This child is such a brave soul and I love her dearly.  I joke with her that we make a great pair with all our illness and fighting to have a normal life when I am rich I am going to go buy us matching lazy boys for the living room. 

Why I am going into all this is a mystery, just deciding to do some more of these bags for my shop just gets me thinking about how much we have gone through over the last 10 years.  I forget what tough people we are. 

It's coming faster than we think

     Tomorrow is October 1st and I absolutely hate the fact that I am sitting here thinking about the upcoming holiday's.  My whole life I grumbled when I walked into a store and saw Christmas decorations before Halloween got here but as an online shop owner now, I get it.  I get it, I get it.  Each year I tell myself I am going to buckle down get rid of distractions and get great, holiday worthy, items made, posted and promoted in my shop in plenty of time for the holiday's because I know I can't wait until December 5th to start.

    Yet here I sit on September 30th, with so many things going on in my life I wonder to myself, when am I going to get the time to create enough?  This has to be the year I get a head start and make gorgeous, creative, beautiful items for one and all and sell them all so I can in turn buy gorgeous, creative, beautiful items to give to my family for gifts.  But when will I find time?  It just is not going to happen.  No matter how much I make up my mind life will always interfere with the best layed plans.  Some one will need me, my school work will get heavy, I will have an episode that stops me from creating.  It will always be something so all I can do is just move forward as best as I can just like I always do.  I will have new items posted, I will work on my ornaments but I will not be performing any miracles.  First and fore most I will concentrate on the ribbon ornaments for my friend for a few weeks.  Then we will delve into the holiday creation in the free minutes of my life.
Just the real life facts in the every day life of Debsparkles.  ;o)

Empowerment

A strong word.  A person can be empowered in many ways.  Today I am brainstorming way's to empower someone and I am going to appeal to your heart.  I have a friend, well I am not sure that is the best description, she is someone who has more than once been a part of my extended family. a best friend to my own daughter, someone we love.  She is in need of help.  Often we all are in need of some help but remember the old saying "no matter how tough it gets someone else has it tougher"
This is definitely one of those moments for me.  I am going to tell her story but I will not name her, she will just be called her because as much as I want to share what she is going through and what I wish to do, I must also protect her privacy.  If you and I are close and have the same group of close friends then you are already aware of who we are trying to help.

She married her high school sweetheart.  Sad and strange as it may be her childhood sweetheart, decorated service man husband quickly plunged her into a life of abuse.  But like most of us woman, she tried to work at things, she loved him and could fix him.  This is a thought I know so very well having spent 5 years married to an abusive alcoholic.  I loved him and I could fix him.  Yeah sure.

She gave birth to two gorgeous kids and the abuse became steadily worse and worse until the day she realized because she is a strong person that she needed to get out of the situation.  She tried living in the same state so the kids had contact with dad but that still left her vulnerable to the physical and emotional abuse.  Recently she came home so she had the support of family and friends  and after a recent court hearing on custody, had to return her children to dads state or face kidnapping charges. 
Any mom can understand the pain of leaving your kids with the man who has beat you over and over.  But she will fight and continue fighting for her children til the very end. 
I truly, truly have to wonder, what kind of a Judge facing a pile of police reports proving a man has beaten his wife over and over, blatantly hands those children over to the abuser without thought to not only their safety but to the woman who has given birth, loved and raised these children and subjected herself to more abuse to keep them safe?  I cannot for the life of me understand it. 

So now to start getting to the point of this post.  As a mom who's kids are her life she has no choice to travel between states for court appearances to fight for her family.  She has friends and family ready to support her emotionally, mentally, physically but the fact is this will cost money.  Lots of money.  Money to travel, pay lawyers, eat and have a place to stay.  The one power not in her reach is ready cash. 

What can I do?  There has to be something, that is the person I am.  Those that know me personally or have been reading my blog know I am dirt poor and never will be able to hand someone money.  But there is always a way and what I do have is my ability to turn my pile of beads into something of value.  So I am in the progress of beading awareness ribbon ornaments.  The samples I have been working on are done in purple because that is the color for domestic violence but I think I will be making them in as many colors as I can.  The only money I take from the sales will be what I spend in shipping.  The rest will go to my friend.  Anything I can do will empower her just a bit more than yesterday.
The ornaments will be listed for sale in my Etsy shop but I will also take custom orders in any color or amount.  If you are interested please contact me through my gmail and I can give you more information.   deb913@gmail.com

So as I make and list more ornaments they will pop up on my pictures or give send me an email if you can help.  Thank you and if nothing else say a prayer for my friend to keep her strong while she gets through this fight to bring her babies home. 

My Weekend

I know, your saying what's that baby doing here again!  I just love showing off my newest grand baby and she was so cute in her new pink tutu I couldn't help myself.

This weekend I attended my first live selling event in a very, very long time.  It was rather fun but I forgot how exhausting it is.  I came home with not only serious exhaustion but an unbelievable sunburn.  I made it through the entire summer without sunburn and in September I get zapped.  fortunately my Italian skin turns to tan quickly so I am now sporting a toasty glow.  Any way, I had made up a good amount of inexpensive chokers, friendship bracelets and keychains.  I put my
Etsy shop into vacation mode and brought every piece from the shop with me.  So I had a good full table.  I did not sell a fortunes worth of stuff but it was not a bad weekend.  I made my table money back with a bit more.  I gave out a lot of business cards for both my Etsy shop and my Avon business.  And I learned what to bring if I am foolish enough to do another live event in the near future.  For the entire 2 days I sold my felt and sequined ornaments and my friendship bracelets.  I pretty much wiped out my stock on ornaments so I need to get busy because I do sell them well during the holiday season.  All in all it was a fun weekend and I am glad I went. Now if I could just recuperate!

Goodbye August

         August has flown by quickly and I do not feel like I have had one minute to enjoy the all too short summer season.  But I do feel like I have accomplished much.  I am very well settled in my new home, boxes are all unpacked, getting pictures on the wall, and feeling content.  I just finished 2 more online college classes and waiting for grades, starting my next 2 classes next week.  Giving some thought to something, actually I have decided to do it.  The town I am living in has a townwide garage sale every September.  I remember doing it about 20 years ago.  I have lived here before when my kids were very little.  I have decided to sign up for a table and now I have just a bit under 2 weeks to make up a bunch of small inexpensive things, maybe bracelets and keychains.  I think I will put my Etsy shop in vacation mode for that weekend and take all the items from the shop.  Should be a fun weekend if it does not rain.  But I better go pick up my beading needles.

Meet my neighbors

As you know, I have been in the process of moving.  I finally got myself settled into my new home last week , got unpacked and a good start on getting things where I want them.  I have already gotten into the habit of taking my coffee in the morning and heading for the back porch to enjoy what little bit of summer we have left.  This picture is what I sit and watch each morning with my coffee.  I live right next door to a large cattle farm and there are literally 35 to 40 cows on the other side of my driveway when I get up.  I must admit that I am having great fun with it. 
The irony here is I have spent the last 20 years of my life living right in the middle of downtown of my city.  I have lived less than a 5 minutes walk away from the market, the bank, the library the park and have spent my summers enjoying the hustle and bustle of a town full of tourists coming in to spend their money at the harness track.
Now here I am.  Absolutely nothing within walking distance.  I have to learn to shop for at least 2 weeks at a time, arrange rides to do my banking and bill paying and instead of the hustle and bustle of tourists I am listening to birds and crickets and gentle mooing.
This may be the best thing I have done for myself in a long, long time once I am used to the change in how I take care of the things mentioned above.  I may get to concentrate better on my school work. I may be able to create more and better pieces, course that depends on how I can get those last minute supplies that I don't like to bulk order but yes, I am now a country girl.  We shall see how it goes.

A Fresh Start

This time tomorrow I will be laying my head down to go to sleep in my new room.  After all the crap, I have boxed up my belongings, shipped my furniture out and have found a new home.  I am excited.  I decided not to feel bad about leaving this house, it is time for a fresh start in all area's of life.  My new home is small, cute and cozy.  I will be able to do my beadwork, have internet access to do my schoolwork and my Etsy shop and my blog all from the comfort of my house.  My new grandbaby will have her own furniture there to come have overnight visits with Grandma instead of Grandma having to go to Amelia's house every weekend.  I am truly looking forward to all these changes.
Most especially not having to head for the library every single day to get my school work done. What a great change it will be to sit down at the computer and study when I want day or night!  I look forward to having the time to create and add new work to my shop.  The fact that I am moving to the country will take some getting used to.  After all these years I am so very used to being able to walk out my front door and then walk anywhere I need to go, the store, the bank, the library or just walk the main streets of town when things are jumping downtown.  My next door neighbor or should I say neighbor's is a herd of cows, I will be living right next door to a large cow farm.  Since I cannot drive anymore I will be at home a whole lot often than I have been in a very long time but I think I am looking forward to that too.   For now, it's off to bed, still have a lot of work to do tomorrow.

Here we go again

I just finished posting this amulet bag in my shop.  I haven't had a lot of time to do my beadwork lately.  I spend most of my creating hours doing schoolwork.  Now, while I am not going to put the shop in vacation mode, I won't be creating for a bit again.  I will just be posting the new work I have finished because my landlord is at it again.
I am very tired of fighting.  My health both physical and emotional needs a break so I have decided I need a fresh start somewhere else.  I need some life changes so Debbie can take care of Debbie before she is lost.  Problem is I have no where to go so I have some challenges ahead as far as what to do with my belongings.  I had them in storage last time I tried to move and let me tell you 3 large storage units is a lot of money. But we are talking furniture and belongings for a family of 4 accumulated over 20 some years.  I am going to have some impromptu lawn sales.  Since I will be moving into a smaller place I have no room for all the furniture other than what my daughter decides to take where ever she may end up.  I guess I have to look at it like I am cleaning out the closet that we just shove everything into.  Once I pare down to what I know I could fit in the smallest of places, LOL, that means my clothes and my beading supplies, then we will move on to the next decision.  In the mean time, my Etsy shop will remain open but after this week I probably will not be adding new items for a good month or so. 

More slippers

As I patiently wait for my grades on the 2 classes I just finished, the weather is finally beginning to scream summer so I can walk as often as I wish.  That means I can scout out the areas they have put this installation through town and just about anything else that catches my eye.  I guess with all the things I have to complain about where I live, I also have to admit we have alot of great things in this town to.  We truly have history and I should not forget that, share it with my grandkids and be more aware of what is alway's going on around me.

En Pointe

For those of you who have been reading my blog for a few years, You know I live in Saratoga Springs, NY, home of 150 years of Harness Racing.  We also have other major attractions such as the Saratoga Performing Arts Center.  All summer we have major events such as the Opera, Orchestras, Bluegrass Festivals and for a few weeks summer the NYC Ballet calls Saratoga Home. 
We are a tourist town.  Our winters are spent getting ready for the summer overload and each year they seem to have some type of theme.  Yesterday I spotted a truck going down the road with some of these 5" tall ballet slippered feet.  Handpainted by local artists, they are truly gorgeous.  Each one is painted differently.   A number of years ago, this was done with fiberglass horses and we had them allover town painted and decorated in so many striking way's it would make your head spin.  At the end of tourist season the horses were auctioned off to benefit a local charity.  Many of the horses were bought by local businesses so we get to enjoy them every summer.  I think I will try to take a walk and snap a picture for you in the mean time  I just love this years ballet motif.  Wondering if they would plant one on my front yard?

Un motivated today

I am sitting at the library computer.  I came to post this new amulet bag in my Etsy shop then get down to my school work for the day.  Trying, trying, got the amulet bag posted.  Went into class and posted an assignment I have due today and then went to post in our daily discussions and completely lost my good intentions.  I am tired, I am feeling just a bit lazy and yup, I am very un motivated.  I just want to lock myself in my studio and make something.  Maybe take a nap with my chihuahua.  Maybe because I am in the middle of my last week of the 2 classes I am in, I am so close to the end, but I just am not in the mood to apply myself to my work today.  I will have to get over it, I need everything done by Friday afternoon so I can head for my son's for the weekend.  New classes start on Monday..........Yes, I think a nap with my chihuahua is in order.  After that I may feel like getting things done.

Amelia Rose

My newest grand baby turned 2 months old on fathers day.  It has been amazing for me to be with her every weekend and then away from her during the week.  This has given me the opportunity to see how much she changes every week of her tiny life and I have to tell you she is such a character already.  My heart is so full having this precious little person in my life. 

Hints of Spring

It is funny how the changing seasons dictate what I want to make.  For sure I want to make baseball ornaments, ice cream cones and butterflies, all the things that make us think of spring.  Starting to get the momentum going and work but I am in my final week of my current two classes so a big test coming up at the end of the week in each but I am not too worried, I think I have done well in the classes and will do well on the finals.  My only worry is how much harder the next two classes will be.  If nothing else I cannot say I am bored.  Working on my craft, working on my school work, working on my life ;o)

Feeling good

My schedule is falling into place, I feel a bit more normal each day that passes.  I am spending more and more time each day on my school work and I am okay with it.  I have one more week of my first 2 classes and I am feeling good about how well I am doing.  My work table is covered with bags of sequins and piles of felt because I really feel the need to get a ton of ornaments into my Etsy shop and every once in a while get a beaded piece in there just to shake it up.  As the physical part of my illness gets worse the normalcy of the things I do through out the day will stop me from missing the things I cannot do.  There is still alot of things a mess in my life but I think I am doing okay with them.  I think I am feeling good with where I am at right now.

Busy busy busy

I sometimes wonder how I get so busy.  Since my newest grand daughters birth I have gone at least 2 day's a week to be with her, babysit while my son and wife get their groceries and baby supplies and give them just a few hours break away from the baby. 
I started online college courses last March.  I made the decision for a number of reasons, first I will not ever stop dreaming that the day will come that I am healthy and can work again and at my age it would really be nice to be working at something that gave me a living wage so I can forsee the day coming where I don't struggle over life's basic needs.  Second of all I need to keep my mind busy, my brain exercising.  I do know certain area's of my brain don't work as well as they should since my 2004 surgery.  If I am not doing something that makes me use the brain, reading, writing, retaining information, my problem will get worse so I just may be a college student for the rest of my days. 
What I did not realize was how intense the work was going to get!  I am spending alot of time just doing schoolwork every day.  Good for my brain but not my beading fingers.  I spend less and less time each day beading.  I have to find a way to schedule in a certain amount of beading time each week so I have a continuous flow of new work for the shop. 
That being said, I did get a small, 5"x7" beaded picture done and listed this week but I fought with my camera for three day's trying to get a nice enough picture.  That failed.  I took it in every area of the house, inside and out, used my flash, turned my flash off,   nothing helped.  The picture has gorgeous shades of blue that just will not properly show in the picture so eventually I just gave up trying and picked out the best of the bunch.   Heading for my next project now....probably some homework!

Is smaller better?

I created and finished this beaded painting in just a few day's.  That is because it is small, only 5" by 7". I love the looks of the pictures, believe me you cannot tell how much better they look in person than from the camera but most often the pictures I take come out pretty good.  So I alway's wonder why they don't sell. They are unique, gorgeous and I keep my prices very reasonable.  So I am wondering if it could be the size.
Maybe this is the type of thing were smaller is better, just a little accent piece.  Hmmmm.  could use some input here because I do not want to stop creating them but if they don't sell there is not much point.  I have a pile of them just taking up space in my studio.

Butterfly Bling

Since I unpacked all my studio supplies and got myself set up to work again, I find myself dealing with what I call beadwork burnout.  It happens sometimes, I just get tired of making the same things that I normally just love making.  I have discovered when this happens it is time to just play.  After spending 3 day's last week that is exactly what I did,  I had this canvas all prepped because you know I have to make a butterfly at least once a month but I also want to find some different way's to use my cabs.  So that was my starting point.  I have a handful of leftover freshwater pearls in odd colors that I really don't have anything I can use them in so I stitched them here and there just to use them up. The same goes for the tiny white faux pearls.  I have a big handful of them, really don't want to use them in my jewelry, they are not real.  So I stitched and stitched until I had filled in the butterfly.  When I was done, I liked it but it still did not seem to be enough, it just needed a little more something to make it pop.  So I glued some purple flatback rhinestones in the really open areas.  That did it.  A bit gaudy, a lot eyecatching, a whole bunch of fun just to help me pass through beadwork burnout and start creating again.

Pearl Play

Today was one of those day's when my mood said, just play.  Do what you love to do and just play.
So I took some of the clay cabs I made and attached them to the canvas I had prepped for a butterfly.  Then I though, I really want to try using some of my odds and ends of freshwater pearls and started randomly stitching them on.  My grandaughter suggested I use tiny faux pearls to fill in around all the more colorful things so that's what we are doing.  Just having some fun and playing with my pearls!

CLay, clay and more clay

I decided since I needed to make some clay cabachon's that I might better make a day of it and stock up.
I seriously need to get out and stock up on my Sculpy but had so many little balls of leftover pieces since last time I worked, I decided to use them all up before they start getting dry and hard to work.  So I spent my Monday making cabs and flowers.  All Day!!!!   I baked them Monday night and spent many hours on Tuesday sanding them.  I really, really need some new tissue blades.  I know they alway's need some sanding but it's worse when my blades start to dull, edges are bit more raggy than they need to be.  Any way they are done and I think instead of glazing the whole batch at one time, I will just glaze the items I pick to use in a project one at a time.  A productive few days, not exciting but a good feeling for me after the months of not getting much of anything accomplished.

My newest Grandbaby

      Here she is as promised,  Amelia Rose,  This is one of her first pictures so in the weeks she has already changed a bit but I am in love.  Also feel like I am making progress getting back to normal.  My studio is set up and I am actually making things.  I am keeping up with my schoolwork and doing ok at keeping my spirits up.  Maybe things are falling into place one more time.  By the way,  it is Mothers day so Happy Mothers day to all of you Mom's!

Can I start again?

Once again I have been out of commission for many months dealing with every day life.  Today as I am starting to get settled again and back into my routine I have spent a bit of time looking through the different social networks and stuff that I used to do on a daily basis.  Really thinking about whether I have the time to start up again or should I just eliminate the areas I haven't had time for.  Some I just closed my accounts but when it comes to this blog I have to think about it a bit more.  It has been a long time since I started it and I know I haven't kept up well, as we know I kind of disappear when life gets rough, but I think I should hang on a bit and try to get better again.  God know's I have been through my share of rough times and they never will stop but I have good times to and where else can I try out experiments on my beadwork and get impartial feedback?  So I think I am going to hang in here a bit longer and see if I can just get back to a better pace.  I do have some good news to share and maybe I can post a picture later,  I have a new granddaughter,  my son and his wife just had their first  so I am full of new grandma pride for the third time.
I will try to post a picture when I get home.  This random thinking things over happened while I was at the library and of course I don't have my camera with me!

A Sale!

So the thing I dreaded most has happened and I have to have myself removed from my home by March 1st.  So we are packing boxes like crazy so I can get a storage unit.  In the meantime I don't want to put all the jewelry in my Etsy shop in a storage but I will need to put the shop in Vacation mode for the Month of March.  So I decided to try to sell as much as I could so it's not sitting a box in a storage unit I am having a 1/2 price sale on everything that costs over $5.00 in the shop.  I changed all the prices last night and put an announcement on my front page.  Please, if you can, share this
http://www.etsy.com/shop/debsparkles

Gathering Ideas

Looking for some idea's today.  It seems like each time I update this blog it's because something lousy is going on and it bothers me.  But for those of you who have read my blog from day one, I did state that the contents would be my "everyday life".  No great advertising, no spending lot's of time window shopping to show you great items I find.  Just me and what's going on and the sad fact is , the one place I am comfortable doing a bit of venting is here.  Yes it is very public but in a way so much easier.  We don't personally know each other, not my family that I have to face everyday or someone I have somehow let run my life and tell me how wrong things are.  That being said, here we go.

I have been dealing with increasingly worse health problems for more years than I can count.  I think the moment that it became real is when I underwent the first brain surgery in 2004.  Then we did it again in 2005. Then we spent a few years trying to regain the use of my legs and hands so I can attempt to work.  I have tried several times over the last few years, starting strong at first then anywhere from 6 months to a year ending up having done nothing but worsen the disability I live with.  Right now I am waiting for a February appointment with a neurology team.  I have a pretty heavy duty case of Hydrocephilis.  An over abundance of excess spinal fluid filling the tumor's in my spine and backing up into spaces in my head around my brain.  I also have new growth on the tumor that was removed named Henry.  The mistake being , the last surgery I was not given radiation therapy after because it came out cleanly and easily and was supposed to be a done deal.  Well it's back with a vengeance.  This time no longer a free floating tumor but attached.  So that will be one more surgery and this time there is no question.  Radiation treatment is on the table.  It is probably I good thing I don't love my hair.
Add into this mix the non stop health problems with my daughter and my Granddaughter.  My granddaughter especially is sadly at 16 in the same condition as a 70 year old.  We can do very little for her chronic, lifelong illnesses other than help her learn how to control the worst of her pain through diet, possible excercise and the right attitude. 
The bottom line here is the financial mess.  I have been totally financially responsible for myself, daughter and both grandkids for several years and it would be pretty obvious to any one that the financial tole has been totally devastating.  I have lost everything.  I am now in the process of losing my home.  I have no where to go or no one to take me in.  No one to give me a huge financial loan.  But if you know me, you know I wouldn't want any one to give me that.  I was raised to find a way to provide for myself however possible.
So that is what I have done.  When able to work....I work.  When I cannot go out into the world for a normal job, I bead like crazy.  I have been running my Ebay and Etsy shops since 2007.  No miracles but enough to keep me trying. 
So once again, I am brainstorming.  How about mass selling of something that is very easy.. Like these friendship bracelets.  The teens and preteens wear them as much now as they did 20 years ago.  So then I spent some time thinking of how to sell them.  First I thought about selling wholesale lot's on Ebay.  I did put up and sell one lot.  A good idea but if I sell them for 1 or 2 dollars myself, I am looking at getting 25 cents each if I'm lucky selling them as lot's.  Then there is Etsy.  Well I do have some better ones listed on Etsy in sets of 2 but selling one bracelet at atime doesn't work.  Most people who would buy these are not going to open an Etsy account to buy a bracelet for her 12 year old.  No one is going to spend $3.00 shipping on a dollar bracelet.  Then I started to think,  years ago any magazine you picked up were full of adds.  Buy this or that or the other thing.  Send $1.00 along with your name and address to such and such address. I know they worked.  I often myself took advantages of those ads.  But we live in a different world now.  I could take out ad's in our little local weekly papers.  I could list it in my blog, I could twitter and facebook it.  What I can't do is put my address out there for the world full of not quite okay people to see. My daughter came up with the idea of renting a PO Box and it is a good idea.  But it cost's money that I don't have.  But I am thinking about it if I can come up with a few sales that would be enough to do it.  I need to think of something, I cannot lose my home.  Not that I am that attached to this particular home but I am not interested in a cardboard box behind some store downtown.;o)

So I am looking for any ideas how to do this.  Has anyone who normally sells through Etsy,Ebay,Zibbet etc. ever tried a different way of selling a large amount one product?   Any advice or idea's will be welcome and appreciated.  Post me a comment here or email me deb913@gmail.com.  

Winter, finally

I have been in bed sick since December 23rd.  Just now starting to get up little by little get back to normal.  If you can call this life normal.  I don't feel like I missed much over the Holiday time and now I am just taking things a day at a time waiting until February 13 to get back to finding out what we need to do to fix me again.  Way too many scenarios running through my head because let's face it, how many times can you have your head operated on before it does more harm than good.  I am so lucky to have my beadwork, it is the one thing that absorbs me to the point I can stop thinking about the lousy things for a bit.
I tried to post a picture but once again of all the choices to upload a pic they give you, coming from my documents is not there.  We finally got our first snowfall and it is just so pretty before the cars and plow trucks go through,  maybe it will work next post. 
Happy January