Missing again?

I was honestly surprised to look in tonight and see how very long it has been since I posted.  Well I have to be very, very honest.  Life has been more than rough and I just haven't wanted to share with any one so I just kind of put everything on hold while I worked,  I worked more than I should have or could without making my illness worse.  But I did.  The sad part is while I was striving for answers to the illness in my house and the means to carry on and move forward I just made things worse.  Not only am I more sick but I am still drowning in a sea of medical debt.  But I do realize that I have been going about things wrong.  I need to get back to what's normal for me.  I need to start creating again.  Even if every beaded item I ever make sit's in my shop for ever, the creating is an important part of me.  I need to get back to the small way's I socialize.  My blog, yes I can find way's to keep up without alway's being down.  My Etsy circle,  being a part of the community is an important part and I have neglected things badly.  I am smart enough to know that is not helpful to me.  Okay, that's all I have to say for now but I promise I am going to start getting back to my life and I promise to share the good parts (or as soon as I can figure out the changes to blogger ;o)

Going in Circles?

I have been home for just about 6 months again dealing with my illness. If you know me, you know that 6 months of being at home is enough to make me stir crazy. I am just not the type of person that can accept that kind of life and be content with it. Sooo a few weeks ago I decided that since I once again have my illness under control, it was time to once again join the living. First I went back to my part time job at Soave Faire. On and off between bouts of illness I have worked there since 1999. As much as I complain about how pysically painful it gets and how completely exhausted I get, mentally this keeps me going and feeling good about myself. I have great friends in my co-workers and enjoy pitching in with them. Then I called my Avon director and told her I was ready to start my Avon business again, so now up to my elbow's in books and literature getting ready to go hunt up my old customers and hopefully snag a few new ones.
I must admit my Etsy shop is showing signs of neglect, just not making room for everything but spent the last day or so trying to get back on track. I have new work to list, just looking for the time and energy to get my pictures taken and listings up.
Now to tell you about today's picture. My daughter was looking for a gift for her hubby. He is a huge Bronco's fan, has a wall of memento's. She asked if I could create a beaded picture with the Bronco logo. I had to really think about it because copyrights etc. But then I decided, I am not selling it, would never try to create a copyrighted work and sell it, it was a gift pure and simple to my daughter so why not? Once I decided it was okay, I grabbed an 11"x14" canvas, painted the background grey and with a little tracing to help me get the logo as close as possible to the real thing , beaded it up!

Trying to work

I am pleased to finally finish another beaded painting. I find it very frustrating to have so many things going on that I can't keep up with the work I love but I am making a committment to myself to carve out the time I need to catch up and stay there. It is time to just put my blinders on and concentrate on what I want to accomplish. That said, I have several half finished projects and am finishing them up and getting them posted before I start anything new. Hope everyone is having a great week.

Kids

Things have gotten busy again and I have neglected my little spot here once more. Today's picture is just for smiles. My grand daughter and her best friend who happens to spend more time at my house than her own. They both just went through breakups with their boyfriends.
One afternoon, I sent them to clean the living room. I expected music. I did not expect this scene, they pulled out all the speakers and sat in this chair singing at the top of their lungs a heartbreaking love song. Just made me smile while at the same time brought me to tears. Such a little thing that makes you just stop for a minute and think, God I love these characters. What would I do without them?

My job as Mom

Something was said to me the other day and my gut reaction was "how does any person treat their child that way no matter how old they are". But then it got me thinking how I as the mom of adult children , view my role in their life. Here it is, When my kids became legally adults it was no longer my job to direct what they do or think, or decide how they will live. If I have done my job right while they were growing up, I have instilled values, morals and the common sense to make decisions about their life and now it is time for them to make those decisions on their own. It is not my place to voice my dislike or condemn them if I am not happy with those decision. I can have those thoughts but that is where it ends, biting my tongue if necessary. What is my job? My job is to love them, support them, cheer them on if they make a good decision, and be just as ready to help them pick up the pieces if they make a bad one. That's it , nothing more is up to me. Your thoughts?

Stress Relief

Yes, my answer to stress. I think I have probably stated more than once that the more I stress the harder I bead and this picture is proof positive. My mom had minor surgery on December 14th and I made arrangements to stay at her house for a while to make sure she followed Dr.s orders. I started making some basic bags to embellish at home later. Of course, typical to my life there has been the usual ton of stressers going on at my own house, lot's of things happening so I just keep beading away and here is the results of this month of stress relief. All new items. Course that gets me thinking, I still need to work harder on other types of items for my shop because amulet bags are just a small niche but I soooo love making them I find it difficult to stop even knowing I need to do more of other things. So yes I will try very hard to make necklaces and bracelets and maybe throw in a earring or two but I cannot fight the urge to continue to do what I have done best for 30 years. Amulet bags, wish bags, treasure bags, call them what you want, they have my heart and passion forever.

Optimism

I guess it's good to say Happy New Year even though we are a week into it. Hoping everyone's holiday's were good, I must admit mine were the most emotionally painful yet. Life has been more than just a bit rough these past month's but I am using the typical New Resolution to decide that no matter how tough things have been, I will choose to continue being Optimistic. Things will get better, I will continue to work towards my goals, one of them being restoring health for myself and my family, I will learn new beading techniques, or may be not, I am still having a great time with the beaded paintings , and lately I have been working hard on my amulet bag's and enjoying it. I hate the fact that I do not have my home internet and can't put up new pictures. Soon. Soon. I am optimistic I will find a way to get my tv and internet back soon.
So there you have it, my new years resolution is to continue to be completely 100% Optimistic about things to come. What's yours ;o)