Constant thoughts

The Money Goddess seemed to be more appropriate today than an image of my newest work because as always I spend large portions of my day thinking about money.   When I think of all my family has been through and is still going through, I look for ways to ease things.  I try to stay open minded and even spend time reading what other people do in the kind of circumstances my family is always trying to deal with and survive.  And each and every thought ends the same as in "I need money to do that."

My dad is still hanging on to life, so I am still, seven months later after the start of this journey being his sole caretaker, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I can't leave him, he can't be alone.  I can't talk to him, he can't here me and often when I expend the effort to make him hear he often does not understand because his brain is being affected by his cancer.  So I continue to be isolated caring for him each day until the day it happens to be over.

My littlest grand baby is growing quickly and I seldom get to see her so she changes immensely between visits.  I am still in awe of her, she is just so cute and smart!  I am so thankful her mom and dad are doing okay because it is the one thing I don't need to spend time worrying about, I am way to busy worrying about my daughter and her children.  Heather's lymes disease is so bad, she is so very sick, and she has no support because I need to be with dad.  I put a lot of responsibility on my granddaughters shoulders.  It's wrong, she is just 18 and should not have to spend so much time taking care of someone else but I am thankful because she is doing the job.  That's were we go back to the big subject of money.  She has been so sick for so long, the illness has devasted her physically, she has been unable to work for many years and without me she is losing everything, she can't keep up with basic things like rent and electricity.  She has little furniture left, she does not even have bed any more. Lets face it when you live with 2nd hand stuff to begin with it does not hold up forever.  While she is fighting for financial help I continue to think about what I can do.  I work hard at my Etsy shop, I try every once in a while to Ebay.  We all know I tried using the GOFUNDME website twice and shut it down as fast as I put it up just because it was way too uncomfortable for me.  I am not one to look for a handout, my parents raised us to work for what we have. 

So the more I think of ideas that I try or reject I keep coming back to the same business plans I have wanted to implement for as many years as I have been creating bead work.  I want my teaching studio.  Once my dad's journey is done the time will be here .  We no longer have a good bead shop in town so if I could open my beading studio and sell supplies besides it would definitely do okay.  I know this because the shop we had for many years always had it's classroom full of people of all ages learning how to make their own jewelry.  But I believe what I would need to do is find a home that I could split up with enough room for myself, my daughter, and grandchildren to live yet have a separate are that I could turn into a studio.  I believe it would work out perfectly because it would allow me to operate the shop around my own illness and disability.  I think I might even have found the place.  But I don't have the money.  Not only would I need several months rent while the shop gained momentum, I would need everything from tables to beading supplies to insurance. 

So we are back to the question I have asked before and I truly need some input.  How do I, using the items I make, create a fundraising sale big enough to start gathering the money to do this?  Obviously right now I cannot do craft shows.  My presence has been constant on Etsy and Ebay and really do not see a benefit in trying more online venues.  When I do not have to be with my dad I can do shows and I think I know a few businesses that would allow me to do trunk shows.  In the meantime I just need to keep creating smaller items such as my keychains and friendship bracelets in the hopes of having lots of items to sell when the time comes.  That is the only real ideas I have come up with so far.   Please if you have any suggestions, things you have tried or have heard of other people trying with any kind of success.....won't you share them with me? 

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