It's not too Early

I have alway's been one of those people who fights working on Christmas before we even hit Halloween. This year I have decided I need a change of attitude and am beginning to work on projects for my shop now. Maybe I will see some Christmas sales this year. Typically I have nothing before Christmas but a number of sales in January. Maybe if I start now it will make a difference.

I haven't posted in a few weeks because I have been in a quandry over a number of things going on in my life. First I am still worried sick about my granddaughter. We still haven't gotten any farther with things because she just keeps getting sick with one infection after another. I am told this is very normal in a person who suffers such a severe case of mono and it could take even another year before she stabilizes to the point things can be done to help her get healthier.
She is such a tough kid and she has lived so long with so much pain it is now her normal and she deals with it very well on a daily basis. Maybe I also have something to do with that because she has watched me work so hard at controlling my own illness but someone who did not know her well would never , ever guess how sick she is. I get scared, I know it's an awful thought but I often wonder if help will come in time. I know that's not a thought I should have but it gets hard watching her try to be brave and not let the world see what a struggle every day is for her.

There are many things going on that are best left unsaid. I can tell you I just recently went through the hoops seeing my MD and my Neurologist. I had lot's of blood work, a stress test, and some MRI's. For the most part things are looking good, I have made slow but steady progress and next week I will have been back to work part time for a full year. I am very proud of that fact. Now here comes the but...........
Remember Henry? Henry the tumor that had to be left in my head. Henry who takes the blame every time I do something stupid or forget something important or fall down when I'm standing still. Yup that one.
All of the sudden Henry has decided to double in size after 6 years of doing nothing. So my neurologist say's I have to see a neurosurgeon. I asked if this was really a big deal and the answer was yes. The fact that it is growing presents the threat of it attaching to my brain. I won't know until I see the surgeon but neurologist thinks it needs to come out now before it has a chance to change.
The upside? This surgery is a piece of cake compared to what I went through with the Chiari Surgery. My mom had surgery for a brain aneurysm and say's that it was not at all painful.
Healing time is maybe 4 to 6 weeks after surgery, wonderful as compared to the 6 years it took after Chiari surgery.
The downside? As I just said above, I have been back to work for a full year. I have made decisions and plans on how to move forward with my life and this may through a monkey wrench into everything. I am afraid of losing everything once again just when I am trying to pull it altogether. I"m angry. I'm angry that once again when I have taken one step forward I am going to be pulled two steps back. But I will get over it. I am just getting a bit tired of spinning my wheels. But then again I will be sporting my 3rd crewcut so in about 6 months my hair will be soft and all my own color of grey once more ;o)

Gone Fishin'

My newest painting finally finished. These last few weeks have been so crazy I have not been able to work consistently. I hate that because I am trying so hard to focus on getting my product amounts raised in my shop. I am getting there slow but sure, but can't seem to concentrate being constantly pulled in 10 different directions. The last few nights I have spent hours and hours just reading on Etsy about the changes with "relevency" I have read blog posts, forum posts, advice, comments and I don't get it and it is driving me crazy!!!!
Then I wonder if I should be making some changes. But what? Years ago I sold well on Ebay. That does not happen anymore. I just sink money I don't have into listing fees and get nothing out of it. I was on Zibbet for a year without a single sale. I have looked at Artfire a few times and I am just not comfortable with it. I have talked with my brother about starting to just list my items on my own website but that costs money and I really like the fact that my website not only gives me the opportunity to lead people to my Etsy shop with a small sampling of what I make , it costs me very little in fees per year since my brother built and hosts it.
Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Tough Decisions

Today my son had to make one of the toughest decisions of his life and put his baby to sleep. Actually no baby, Morgan was 12. A Bull Mastif/pit bull mix she has been his companion since she was 8 weeks old and fit in one hand. Who knew she would grow to be a 110lb horse bigger than my oldest daughter. Her breeds have many health problems but she has been strong and happy and loving right up to about 2 months ago when she started to cough and her lungs started to sound like pnuemonia. She seemed to get over it quickly but this last few weeks she has declined rapidly. She has had a problem with hip dysplasia, common to both breeds, and tumors, cancer is also common to her breeds. Any way she got to the point she could not walk, would not eat, just slept, we would have to carry her out side to do her business a few times each day. Last Friday, she needed a bath so she could go to the vet Saturday morning but the tub hurt her so bad. My daughter ended up climbing in the tub so Morgan could lay across her for some comfort and this is how she got bathed. Saturday the Vet layed out the options and let TJ know he alone had to decide. Gave the dog a shot and some pills for pain. For several day's she seemed to rally, was eating, walking enough to get outside under her own power and was happy just to hang with TJ. Until today when he got home and found her in really bad shape, scooped her up and took her back to the vet. Between the hips and legs, the respiratory problems and the cancer she was bleeding internally and he realized he had to do the right thing for her.
He say's to me, Mom how do I make this decision, she is going to be mad at me.
I said, No TJ she will love you forever for ending her pain,. her job here is done.
End of story.
I am sharing this with you because in truth, I am as heartbroken as my son, I loved this dog and even though I knew this was how it had to be it still hurts and I needed to tell someone that.
Thank you for listening

Wow...It's Done!

Wow is what I have to say. No I have more but this experiment has been quite the learning process. Start with the background. I alway's do the background color's in acrylic paint. I wanted to give an underwater effect but I am not a painter so experimented with watercolor's. Everyone that has kids in the house has some kind of watercolor's laying around. I did not know whether or not the canvas would absorb it but it did with enough water which also managed to create that streaky light and dark underwater look to it. As you know I started the picture with just a basic couple of lines drawn for the sand castle and added the different features of the castle as I went along. The ton's of light brown seedbeads and bugles I used on the castle were taken from a destroyed vintage gown and let me tell you they are tiny. For every two beads I strung I threw one away because it would not fit over my thinnest beading needles. This was a very long, time consuming process. Everything on the ground and around the castle I added as I thought of it, you can tell by the cartoon quality of the fish, I can't draw. I haven't been near the ocean or a see since I was a very little girl but I often dream about the day I get to visit Hawaii and what I would find on the floor under the water. Of course the gorgeous colored water polished rocks will be an instant draw so I pulled out bunches of semi precious gemstone chips in earthy colors to add to the castle wall. There has to be broken shells laying about so we needed some mother of pearl chips on the castle. I needed greenery but did not want to overwhelm what space I had so just used my seedbeads to put some vines here and there then pulled out a baggie full of acrylic flower odds and ends I have never found a use for. There has to be snail and other life living down there so I used a bag of tiny shells that I have been hoarding for a long time. And of course we need pearls. Couldn't seem to draw a good enough clam or oyster but why can't we just have some pearls? So I added a bunch of the dyed freshwater pearls that I accumulate because I looooove freshwater pearls.

After all of this work had been done I realize I had forgotten the 2 inch rule. In order to have a canvas stretched properly, you must have 2 inches of bare canvas all the way around. My daughter came up with binding the sides with row's of seedbeads and turn it into a wall hanging. I thought it was worth trying so used a blue blanket binding stitched into place with rows of seedbeads, added tabs to the top to put a dowel through and it worked! It measures 11" by 14", the back is not perfect. While I work wonders with a needle and thread and pile of beads I haven't done so well mastering needle and thread and material. But it's okay. I used a layer of felt on the back. Of course I needed sparkle, we are under the sea, so a little bit of fabric glitter paint, several layers of acrylic varnish and everything is securely in place and I am ready to list this!

Happiness

I have been on a crazy schedule these last few day's and expect I will be for the summer so I am thinking of small, quickly done items to work on. Also looking for way's to keep a good attitude so what could be more perfect than a 6"x6" beaded painting of the Chinese Symbol for Happiness!

New work

Hi there! I have an awful lot of stuff going on and most of it, not good. Not going to go into it but I will say that I am once again trying to keep my mind on my work. I have an awful lot to think about and one of those things is trying to find the right direction to keep my mind in to produce and list for sale as much work as I can. I need a few miracles which will only happen when I start to sell faster than I produce but in the mean time......I'm trying to keep producing.
I have once again started putting work in both my Etsy shop and my Ebay Auction. I know, I know, I get very discouraged with Ebay but I have to keep trying. Any way, I have not finished putting my Underwater painting together, just don't seem to find the room to work but I will get it done. This picture above is an Amulet bag I just finished tonight. Can't seem to get a good pictures but it's gorgeous. So I listed it on Ebay, I took alot of extra pictures so if it doesn't sell it will be easy enough to slide over to my Etsy store. I just last week started working 6 day weeks for the busy summer season, cross your fingers for me, it is too much for me but I want to hang in there, at the same time I am once again going through alot of junk with my Dr.s.
I know I haven't done a Tori update in a while, that's simply because there isn't much to update, she keeps getting sick, we did find out when she was supposed to have surgery she got that ear/sinus/throat infection because she seems to have had a relapse on the mono so she is still as alway's very infection prone. Add that to , we still have no answers on the thryroid. I keep saying I want an answer and none is forthcoming. All her new testing has been held up with more insurance problems so it's looking like it will be the end of summer before we start getting help again to get this poor kid straightened out. Maybe we can be hospital roommates because between the two of us this is going to be a rough end of year.
Any way, I probably don't make alot of sense right now but as I said, I have got a ton of crap going on that I am trying to deal with and I'm not doing a real good job at the moment. Just going to stop thinking and go play with my beads some more. Hope everyone is enjoying summer so far!

Just a little more

Just a little more work and this will be done. I am having such a good time adding odds and ends from my stash. We ton's of seedbeads, gemstone chips, mother of pearl chips, freshwater pearls, some tiny seashells, acrylic flowers, lustered acrylic beads, now painting and finishing off edges! This is a really heavy piece and I am trying to decide how to finish it. I did not leave enough raw canvas on the edges to stretch it properly. My daughter say's I should sew it to a backing and use dowels turning it into a wall hanging. That might be a good idea if it's not too heavy for the dowel. hmmmmmm