Something to share

No work progress today, no pictures to show but something I want to share. I have said I have been going through a tough time but not shared details. I won't now either but I have shed a lot of tears lately. Tears of pain. But today, my aunt sent me an email that helped me so much and let me shed a few good tears and I wanted to share it with you. I cannot give the author credit because I don't know who it is but I think if your a mom this will touch your heart.

The Invisible Mom

It all began to make sense--the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids would walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not, no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking. or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible mom.
Some day's I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Someday's I'm not a pair of hands, I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it? I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel? I'm a taxi for order, Right around 5:30 please.
Some day's I'm a crystal ball, "Where's my other sock? Where's my phone? What's for dinner?
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music, and literature- but now, they has disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. She had just returned from a fabulous trip and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package and said, "I brought you this". It was a book on the great Cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: "With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one see's"
In the day's ahead I would read-no-devour the book. And I would discover what would become for me four life changing truths, after which I could pattern my work.

1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals, we have no record of their names.

2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof ? No one will ever see it. The workman replied "because God sees.

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
"No act of kindness you'be done, no sequin you'be sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great Cathdral, but you can't see right now what it will become.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friends he's bringing home for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, then she hand bastes the turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then , if there is anything more to say to his friend, he'd say "Your gonna love it there..."

As mothers, we are building great cathedral's. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at whate we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.

My Exotic Parrot

This bold , bright, beautiful bird is finished and I am so pleased with him! I have as usual an large amount of stuff going on in my life. I noticed that the rougher things get the harder I work on something if I am able to work and I have used this picture to think, let off steam and get rid of tension so it got finished quickly! Ready to post him in my Etsy shop and I am really super excited because last night I SOLD the Peacock. What a great lift that was. Ready to go sketch the next one.....

Starting to look like something

I am having a great time with the bright bold colors on this bird that I would never ordinarily have a reason to touch. The funny part is everyone want this one. My granddaughter want's it. My daughter in law want's it. My grandson say's Grandma can I have this? I explained to him I was making it to try to sell in my Etsy shop and he say's, oh don't worry, I have $25.00 in my piggy bank and I will borrow more from mommy! (He is 8) I said well Josh, how about I make another one for you? He say's no Grandma I want an original.
Where did he ever learn that? ;o)

10 hours In

We have just about 10 hours of embroidery time into this so far, Not much done considering how much to do but enough to let me know that I like him. Bright and bold, my exotic parrot is definately not going to be able to camoflouge himself in the trees. Undecided about my background. I know I will bead the tree limb and branches but thinking I want to paint the blank area. I don't seem to like a fully beaded picture as much as one with parts of it painted,but I have some time to make a decision on that. I won't get too much more done until the end of the week, I am just to tired after work to accomplish must and need to take turns with some other work.

Celebrating my Weekend

Friday and Saturday are my weekend. I don't have to go to my part time job and if I think ahead on Thursday night and stop at the store, I can choose to stay home or choose to go do something. Most often I choose to stay home and bead, maybe do a little housework, maybe not, today though, we had decent weather , it was 30 degrees warmer than it has been in a long time and my mom and I spent some time together sorta window shopping. Just getting away from the house and spending some time with each other. That does not happen often in the winter due to mom's health so it is a treasure when we can.
To date I have done 5 Beaded Paintings. This last week I have worked hard at not starting another and getting some jewelry done for the Etsy shop but for some reason, this has such a hold on me ......I Have to start another!!!!
So when I got home, I sat down with a peice of canvas and sketched out my next one. I know I will have to start beading it tonight. I have no choice, my willpower is just not there. Any way I thought it would be fun to do a progress show so here is our start, a sketch on a peice of canvas.

Happy Sunday

Greetings everyone. I must say, I am feeling encouraged. I have been taking things one step at a time and feel like we are getting settled. I have been getting more regular posting new items in my shop, I am working my "day job" 18 to 20 hours a week and it's okay. I am keeping up. I hurt by the end of the week but I am hanging in there and that's a big deal. Thought I would show you the best of a bunch of really crappy pictures of my newest beaded painting. This is the 5th one I have done and I have gotten better and bolder with each one. Each one has enabled me to make a lists of do's and dont's and have learned alot with this method of list keeping. I am afraid though I am enjoying it a bit too much. It is all I want to do. I don't know if it's just a new way to use my beads that has me intrigued or truly a new possibility of earning an income. But it is too early to tell. My first two had to many mistakes that I have learned not to make so the 3 after that have been listed in my shop. I will keep an eye on views and try to get a feel for whether or not it is something people would shop for. I think I am hoping for shoppers ;o)
Have a wonderful evening and a great Valentine's day tomorrow.

Getting back to Normal

That's what I have been working on. Getting back to normal. I have calmed my "day Job" work schedule to a managable amount of hours. My kids are pulling themselves together and I am sitting back and letting them. Finally started posting new listing's in my Etsy shop on a bit more regular basis and I am creating again. Thank Goodness. Debbie is back, almost herself again. Now if the snow will stop so my body would stop hurting so much I may even get more involved with my computer time again and start being here more often. I would never be someone who posts on a daily basis, I just don't have much to say but I do love showing you what I am doing so this is my new starting point. Hope everyone is well!